Hillary Clinton had her “vast right wing conspiracy,” and Trump has his “deep state” conspiracy. Both of those are small beer compared to the “eclair shortage conspiracy” I’ve just made up. The cool case has been “broken” at the supermarket bakery for 3 weeks and eclairs, when available, have shot up in price from 3 for $5 to $2 each. The other supermarket in town didn’t have ANY eclairs.

Something dodgy is going on and the eclair cartel is behind it. Watch your back.