Executive Veggie Order #1: Pork and Beans, Refried Beans, Baked Beans are a vegetable. They might already be a vegetable but this is to clear up any lingering doubt or guilt. The science behind this is irrefutable based on New Math and New English. Beans have for too long been marginalized by Deep State types within the FDA.
Ergo, by Official Executive Order the above named beans are a suitable replacement for green vegetables, especially those I don’t like.