I really wanted to buy a theatrical fog generator for my front porch.  I think it would be cool to have spooky fog rolling off the porch in the evening. Think, all those black and white Universal monster films like “Dracula,” “The Wolf Man,” and “Frankenstein.”

But I’m an adult now, toys must be set aside for the betterment of Mankind, so instead I bought a chain saw because: the God-Damn Purple Leaf Plum MUST DIE!

Sigh.

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